Letter to the President

Dear Mr. President,

It’s truly inspiring how flexible your opinions are. Before you were president, you said — and I quote — that if the government ever shut down, “the president would be blamed.” You called it a “tremendously negative mark” on the office and said it was his job to bring people together. Beautiful words. Very presidential. Almost sounded like a man taking responsibility.

But now that you are the president? Suddenly, it’s all the Democrats’ fault! Like magic! Poof — the accountability disappeared faster than affordable health care.

Honestly, it’s impressive. Most people change their shirts when they flip that fast, but you manage to do it mid-sentence. You’ve turned contradiction into an Olympic sport. If mental gymnastics were real, you’d bring home the gold, the flag, and probably the referee too.

Here’s the thing: when you said the president gets the blame — you were right. You can’t tweet your way out of that one. Leadership means owning the mess, not pointing at someone else and yelling “they did it!” That’s what my kids do when the cookie jar breaks — and even they know it doesn’t work twice.

So, please, next time you hold a press conference about the shutdown, maybe just replay your old clip on the big screen behind you. You were more honest back then — and way funnier than any of us could be trying to explain this circus.

Yours in eternal confusion.